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AdultsRiddle #1478

You're happy when the doctor says you're me, and unhappy when a judge hands me to you. What am I?

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Riddles for Adult: You're happy when the doctor says you're me, and unhappy when a judge hands me to you. What am I?
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You signed up for me 'just for the free trial' a year ago. I still visit your bank account every month, you haven't used me once, and canceling me takes eleven clicks and a phone call. What am I?I count down from five, and you never stop me. I'm the reason 'one more' turned into four, and I always arrive right after somebody gets left hanging off a cliff. What am I?I'm a tiny picture that lights up and refuses to explain myself. I might mean a loose gas cap or a thousand-dollar repair, so most people stare at me for a week and hope I go away. What am I?I'm the most powerful thing in the living room, yet I vanish whenever someone wants control. I have dozens of buttons you've never pressed, and you've blamed my batteries for problems that weren't mine. What am I?I'm your proof that you paid. But leave me in a drawer long enough and I'll quietly go blank and deny everything. What am I?