I'm clean, I'm dry, and I've been sitting in a basket for four days waiting for you. What am I?
Hint: You'll get to me this weekend. Probably.
Answer
Laundry you haven't folded
Clean laundry often waits in the basket long after it's out of the dryer.
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Everyone gets me free when they're born, I become more precious every year, and no amount of money can buy more of me. What am I?
Answer
Time
Everyone starts life with time, it feels more valuable as you age, and you can't buy more.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up on its own?
Answer
It's two tired
A bike has two tires, and "two tired" sounds like "too tired."
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Which word gets shorter when you add two letters to it?
Hint: The answer is in the question.
Answer
Short
Add "er" to "short" and you get "shorter."
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A pizza has 8 slices. You eat half of them, then half of what's left, then half of what's left again. How many slices remain?
Hint: Keep cutting the number in half.
Answer
One slice
8 becomes 4, then 2, then 1.
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I have a tongue but I can't taste, and you tie me up every morning. What am I?
Answer
A shoe
Shoes have a tongue under the laces, and you tie them every day.
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I'm cold and sweet, I sit in a cone, and I melt all over your hand if you eat too slowly. What am I?
Hint: I come in lots of flavors.
Answer
Ice cream
Ice cream is a cold treat that melts if you don't eat it fast.
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Why did the vampire start reading the newspaper?
Hint: Vampires care about one thing.
Answer
He heard it had great circulation
Newspapers talk about circulation, and so do vampires (blood circulation).
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I'm green, I hang in a doorway, and if you stand under me, someone might kiss you. What am I?
Answer
Mistletoe
Tradition says people who meet under mistletoe should kiss.
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You looked at me once, and now I follow you to every website you visit. What am I?
Hint: I really think you should buy those shoes.
Answer
A targeted ad
Ads track what you browse and keep showing it to you across the internet.
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Nobody ever sharpens me, yet I get sharper the more you use me. What am I?
Hint: You're using it right now.
Answer
Your mind
Using your brain (like solving riddles) keeps it sharp.
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What has one horn and gives milk?
Hint: It's not a cow, and it's not a unicorn.
Answer
A milk truck
A milk truck has one horn (it honks) and delivers milk.
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